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I want to put my name forward to be Mayor.
Oh. OK, qualifications ?
I am disadvantaged, I had a broken leg last year.
Yes, Um. What salary do you require.
A BMW.
Ok, what do you plan for the community.
First a welcoming cocktail party for the incoming Mayor.
Right, um and salary ?
R 50 thousand a month. I have seen the income - I know it is
THERE.
OK. Standard of education ?
Please don't use long words, I am not Mayor yet.
Do you have any plans to upgrade the deteriorating streets ?
Yes. They must all become roads again.
Right. And the water shortage ?
We will have a mass function with food and drinks for many
and pray for rain.
OK, and the current property rate structure ?
This thing, it must be doubled.
Too many benefit at the expense of too few.
And employment ?
Everybody must be employed. Men must lay bricks and women
must be plastered.
What else financially ?
Bread must be free and dagga should be taxed like cigarettes.
But will that not damage minds ?
Things can only improve.
And taxi's.
No thanks, I get a lift home.
Would you support a Fire Brigade.
Yes, if they have too little work, I will start fires to create
employment.
Would that not be counter-productive ?
I am not a farmer and I do not have a farm stall.
Are you happy with the current pension scheme.
No, I believe the savings should be spent now, and the contributions
made later.
Interesting...and the Municipal Medical Scheme
?
Same thing. Why let money lie idle. Make it work NOW. Medicine must
be free.
Thank you, anything else ?
Yes, the Golf Course must be sold to emerging farmers. There's only
18 little holes to fill.
Thank you.
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martin@martins.co.za
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