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The Flange |
Once upon a twice there was a fine fella.
His name was Mike Flanagan.
You couldn't find a finer gentleman.
Manners of a prince, humility borne from being humble.
Imagine the blazer, tie, brogues and slicked back hair.
He loved doing what is shown in the two pictures below.
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Now, mon cheerybums, my
great, but sadly late, friend Mike Flanagan who was also known as "The Flange",
was easy to beat at pool - but NOT matches, when he'd had a few hookers.
I shall now relate a tale which had Port Elizabeth in stitches for quite a few
weeks,
trying who to guess who the perpetrators of the following hoax were.
We were sitting at Spoleto's (An
Italian hang-out of ours) when Flange stopped outside,
boat hitched behind his car, on his way to go fishing at Swartkops River, and
just stopping for
ONE BEAR. He had just received his beer,
when G asked if he could borrow my BM's keys.
Sure I said and he disappeared only to be back 15 minutes later. By this time
Flange had
just finished his second first beer and said goodbye to everybody. And off he
went. ONLY
TO DASH BACK IN, SAYING "My boat's been stolen, gimme another beer". In the
meantime
he phoned the police to report a stolen boat. ONLY five minutes later the Greek
Tavern phoned
the police to say there was a boat parked in the street, blocking the
road. Flange said "Oh,
thank goodness" - ran out the door and went to fetch his boat, which by the way
was named,
quite aptly, the Red Baron. TEN MINUTES later Flange was back with his boat,
came inside and said
"Phew, what a mission, gimme a bear please before I go fishing".
At which point in time, G asked if he could borrow my BM's keys. Sure I said and
he disappeared
only to be back 15 minutes later.
SO, Flange finished his beer, said a hasty cheers, goodbye everybody and walked
outside only
to come back shouting that his boat was gone AGAIN. We all expressed disbelief
and sympathy
and suggested that he phone the police and have a beer. He ordered the beer but
when he phoned
the police, they refused to listen, saying "Sir, this case has been reported
already". Simultaneously
the Greek Tavern phoned the police to report a boat blocking the street and the
police told them:
"Sir, this case has been reported already". Then Flange phoned the Greek Tavern
direct,
who told him that he had already fetched the boat. I seem to think that the
evening ended in the morning
with Flange having taken his boat home and locked it in the garage then joining
us for our festivities
with Liliana at Spoleto's.
Derrick Moss ex Fort Beaufort will attest as to the validity of this tale.
