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Philena
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You could have blown me over with a feather. The doorbell rang and wife Tracey said there's somebody who used to live in Port Alfred to see you. It took a few secs, but I recognised her. Out with my favourite strong filter coffee, no sugar, teaspoon of milk - for me, Cokes for the others. And man, what a rambling session we had.
If you recall, Philena was the daughter of Oom Flippie Claasens who had, I think, a used furniture store and had one of those VW Kombi panel vans. She and Clyde Sparg got married and had three children. At a later stage, Clyde was shot and killed in Mdantsane. Philena has remarried - she's now a Cloete and has two further daughters pictured above with her, and they live in Grahamstown.
More especially Port Alfred was the town of Extreme Practical Jokes. You've heard of Extreme makeover, Extreme Fear Factor....Ag please, those woosie TV 'reality' shows are a 'deadality' show when you know what the Kowie folks got up to:
1. At a guys bachelor party, when he got dronk, they put a heavy ball and chain on his leg, and put him on the train to Jo'burg. He woke up in Cradock - no wallet, no money...bones. Must have been an Extreme Amazing Race to get back !!!!!!!!!!!
2. At another guys bachelor party, when he got dronk they put his right leg in plaster - from the big toe to the hip - told him he'd had a car accident - and he had to walk around for a week before the truth came out. Imagine the relief !!!!!!!!!!!! Extreme makeover.
3. Then one day they took one of the favourite uncles of the town, who had had a few too many - wrapped him up like a mummy in roll-up bandage, put a coffin on the back of a bakkie, and laid him in it. Now, note the meticulous detail - they took his glasses - and painted them black on the outside. This was early afternoon. Then they went and parked the bakkie in Main Street and all went off to the pub. Can you IMAGINE the HORROR in Main Street when he woke up - and sat up - and couldn't see !!!!!!!!!!!!
4. This humour gained ground in Port Elizabeth at one time. We were up at Spoleto's - a cool Italian place (open until forever) when I was younger. A great friend, the late Mike Flanagan parked his boat outside and came in for a beer. While he was having his beer, somebody unhitched his boat and towed it to the Greek Tavern where they parked it in the street. With great consternation Mike discovered his boat had been 'stolen' and phoned the police. At the same time the Greek Tavern phoned the police to say there's a boat parked in the street. So, Mike went and fetched his boat and came back to Spoleto's saying "Phew...now I REALLY need a beer". While he was having his beer, somebody unhitched his boat and towed it to the Greek Tavern where they parked it in the street. With even greater consternation now, Mike phoned the police. They told him "Sorry sir, this has already been reported and put the phone down". When the Greek Tavern phoned the police, they were told: "Sorry sir, this has already been reported and put the phone down". It all came right eventually...
The End